Imagine what would happen if anyone Barack Obama had ever spoken to in his life (let alone his campaign’s top economic advisor) had said that America is a “nation of whiners.” Republicans, those champions of the common man, would be having fits of righteous indignation, shouting “Elitism!” so much you’d think they got paid every time they said it. It would be called further damning proof of how “out of touch” and “unable to connect with average Americans” Obama is, and that pesky “liberal” corporate media would spend hours “discussing” and “analyzing” its ramifications. Think back on the literally hundreds of hours spent (and still being spent) on Obama’s comment that rural people tend to cling to religion, guns, and their racial identity when times are tough.

But what happens when Phil Gramm, John McCain’s top economic advisor, claims that the horrific state of the Bush economy is simply “mental” and the victims of it are all “whiners”? FOX and the Republicans actually defend this demeaning characterization of the economic woes facing the majority of Americans because of Bush’s disastrous policies, and in the case of FOX’s Fred Barnes, actually claim it is a positive for McCain.

BARNES: He wasn’t wrong to say that. You know what this was? This was straight talk that McCain always says he’s giving it, and this is exactly what Phil Gramm did. He gave straight talk…They claim about how bad the economy is–and it’s weak, no question about that. …They’re whining all the way through it.

Barnes went on to explain how increased business at Wal-Mart and CostCo are proof that the economy is doing just fine, though even an infant would realize that people increasingly trying to save money by buying in bulk or at low-cost stores that sell cheap, crappy products that occasionally give you lead poisoning are not signs of a booming economy. I’m sure sales at 99 cent stores are going up, too, further proof to Republicans that…um…people have plenty of money. I suppose Barnes also hasn’t heard of the credit card, a clever device that allows people to buy things they sometimes can’t pay for.

So get over it, America! The Republicans know that your financial problems are not being caused by the devaluation of the dollar, the sub-prime mortgage debacle, or the rising costs of oil, energy, medications, food, insurance, etc. No no. Your financial problems are caused by you being a moronic, whiny bitch. You’re so stupid that you don’t realize that you actually have plenty of money, and you’re whining because you’re a spoiled asshole.

You’ve just lost your house? That’s all in your head! Move right back in! If you just believe that you own your house, it’s yours! Got laid off from your job? Pshaw! Just show up for work anyway and stop being so gloomy! Can’t afford to fill up your car? I’m sure you have plenty of money but are just too stupid to know it! Fill ‘er up, dipshit!

That sound you hear coming from America isn't "whining" — it's suffering. And Gramm is the guy McCain wants to run the US economy.