Birdies are tweeting. Roses are blooming. Harp strains are...straining. Judi (with an "i") Giuliani's in love...with herself.

She starts the event with a 10-minute speech mentioning husband Rudy's "tender heart." (She does look at her notes a lot. She does not, it must be noted, take a cellphone call from her husband...) 

Oh gee! Isn't that the romantic-y-est!?  I have stars in my eyeballs just imagining their little love nest(s).

Then -- much to the surprise of a press aide, who had said Giuliani wouldn't be available for interviews -- she zooms over to chat with two reporters.

"I'm always a little bit nervous" about campaign events, she tells reporters, seeming not nervous at all. 

You see what she did there? Isn't that cute as anything? She's jittery. Psyche! Not really! Not our Moodi (with an "i") Giuliani! She knows right where to find the press, without any help at all! I am so gosh darned impressed I can't stand it.

No, seriously, I can't stand it. 

Judi Giuliani, 52, looks far better in person than she does in print -- both literally and metaphorically. It is hard to square her personal presence, which is intensely -- almost fiercely -- amiable, with her reputation for imperiousness. (Did she get a bad rap? Are these traits two sides of the same coin? ) 

Oh no! Did Judi Giuliamiable get a bad rap? That's fiercely criminal!

With her broad smile and a flair for the dramatic, she gabs to reporters about her "energizer bunny" husband and their upcoming trip to Miami for a NASCAR race ("We get to go down in the pit!" she says, sounding thrilled).

Gabby McLookAtMe? Dramatic? Never! Although I have to admit, there was a glimmer of sincerity when she said she and Rude-y are heading into a pit. 

And how every year on Thanksgiving, she and her husband host a breakfast at ESPN Zone in New York for police officers and firefighters affected by the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001.

I am so impressed I'm gagging. Connecting Crudey Giuliani with SEPTEMBER 11, 2001?  ::9/11echoechoecho:: Brilliant!

It's "one of the things Mrs. G stood firm about," she says, speaking in the third person. 

That is just so cute! She speaks of herself in the third person! That Mrs. G! She's just so folksy, so one of us!

...Giuliani tells the crowd not only about her husband's strength on national security issues, but of his more personal side.

"The Rudy I know combines a tough mind and a tender heart," she says. "He loves life and he loves laughter." 

He better. We've been laughing at him for years.

She says the gold elephant brooch she is wearing on her purple suit jacket was a gift from Rudy during their first Christmas together.

Sniffle, I'm tearing up. Tell us about that Christmas, Judi Fooliani:

That, of course, was a Christmas before they were married, when the mayor was still with his second wife, Donna Hanover. And then came the mayor's news conference to announce they were separating, which came as news to Hanover, and the public spat over whether the mayor's girlfriend should be allowed to visit Gracie Mansion. And then the wedding in 2003, at which she wore a tiara, of all things. And then more recently, the former mayor's son, Andrew, the best man at that wedding, revealed that his relationship with his father was strained, and that "there's obviously a little problem that exists between me and his wife."

And there's obviously a little problem that exists between us and his wife's "tender-hearted", Kerik-loving, firefighter-disdaining husband. 

Oops. Sorry to cut this short, but Mr. Laffy's calling me on my cell phone.